Monday, May 19, 2008

 

Seasons End, But Chicken Jokes Live On

Most of my favorite tv shows are having their season endings about this time. Last night we watched the two hour season finale for Desperate Housewives, a show which has brilliant writing, editing, and carefully crafted plots.

But it was horrifying to see what happens to Gabrielle in 5 years! Say this is a bad dream writers and producers of Desperate Housewives!

And yes, it's still a little voggy here on Maui which is making everyone suffer to one degree or another. Oh, for the tradewinds to blow again!

My day has been lightened by an email sent from a friend: chicken jokes.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it
was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation
and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally
helped that little chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right
from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets
the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
really isn't about me.......

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against
us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing
the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there
is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have
access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to
cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against
it.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way
he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why
it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't
you people see the plain truth? That's why they call
it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay,
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media white washes with
seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.'
That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road
or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken!...... What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?...... We
need some black chickens!

What are your favorites?

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Comments:
Clever and funny
 
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