Friday, April 30, 2004

 
Just when I thought everything was going to get going again on the right track, a new glitch appears. The old painters (Sam & Jimmy) have been taken off the job after way too many screw-ups, and a new guy (John) has been hired to do the painting and touch-ups. Yesterday I watched him painting the front door, and he seemed really into it. I looked at the work he had done after he left, and it was a mess. John came to Bob and me this morning and apologized. He said he didn't know what he was thinking for he knows better not to paint without putting a primer down first. He had failed to do so, and that was why he now has to take the door off its hinges, sand it down and begin all over again. He told Bob he wouldn't charge him for the work he did yesterday as he was quite embarrassed. He is such a nice man working as an activist on Maui to put pressure on the Monsanto people to stop their research on genetically modified crops. I think his mind is more on his activisim than on his work. It saddens us because we have dealt with so many of these hypnotized people over here. They mean well. They talk a good game, but they are living in a trance.

John and his team had given Bob a price quote for the exterior paint for the entire house which was way over-priced. Since Bob is a number cruncher extraordinaire, he presented the detailed mock-up of what he was being charged by them...their pricing would have cost Bob an absurd amount, nearly $5000 for paint alone. So Bob informed John of this obvious scam, and John seemed bewildered. He apparently wasn't the money man coming up with these figures and probably was only the 'hired-hand' painter, most likely with most of the monies going into the pockets of the other one, a woman with a money glint in her eye. He told Bob that it would probably be a great idea for Bob to accept a much lower bid from another painter which I am encouraging Bob to do. There are shysters everywhere you look these days, and they seem to be proliferating. Has it always been this way, or are there more of them?

Monday, April 26, 2004

 
I'm watching the tv show The Swan, a guilty pleasure of mine. It's totally amazing in so many respects. Imagine spending a quarter of million dollars on transforming yourself! This is the estimated cost of the transformation per each woman who has opted to go from the ugly duckling to The Swan. This is a comprehensive make-over program that includes everything from cosmetic surgery, trainers, nutritional consultants, dentistry, lasik eye surgery and therapy. These girls/women have never felt attractive and have very low self-esteem. The amount of cosmetic surgery boggles the mind...these are EXTENSIVE surgial procedures done at the same time...and inevitably accompanied by intense pain in the recovery period. Actually, right now on the tv show, both girls are struggling through their very obvious painful recovery. Being an empath, I can't look at the screen too long for I unconsciously seem to take on the pain of others. One girl prayed for death this week. What is called 'the final reveal' is nothing short of riveting...the curtain dramatically rises with rising music in the background and the girl sees herself after many long months with no mirrors! We see them too for the first time, and the results are stunning! The girls/women all scream and proclaim that they now feel so beautiful...they feel the outside now matches the inside. I look forward to all of us being able to experience much MORE...way more!!! I want a consciousness transformation for each and every one of us.



Sunday, April 25, 2004

 
Everyone that has ever done a renovation says that the project always goes overbudget and way over schedule. That's exactly what is happening with us. Bob had projected that by now we would be living in our new place, but still we are doing fine-tuning and spending more monies than planned. To say that we are aggravated, worn-out and concerned about stretching the money is very much to the point.

Of course, we are delighted to see the beautiful rooms forming with the incredible ocean views both upstairs and downstairs. And yet, the finishing touches are seemingly taking forever! We have workers in our home 7 days of the week 8 hours or more per day. When will this renovation hell ever end Bob and I ask ourselves?


Sunday, April 18, 2004

 
Today was the kind of picture perfect day on Maui that makes Maui such an alluring travel destination: blue skies, gentle breezes, not too hot or too cold and everyone has smiles on their faces. I went to the beach for several hours with my daughter and talked story with her, then we came home and searched through some recent catalogues for new swimwear for ourselves, selected some which we called to purchase. I threw my old swimsuit in the trash for it had seen better days. This isn't the only item I have been disposing of lately for I am in the midst of Spring Cleaning. Nearly every day I find something to release either by trashing it or giving it to someone.

There is a sense of impending change that is palpable. I keep getting the message from Spirit: lighten up, detach, let go. And even though I keep moving stuff on out of my life, there always seems to be more to go!


Friday, April 16, 2004

 

Thirst For Revenge

I went to the matinee movie yesterday by MYSELF! Bob wanted to play one last round of golf before Shanti left Maui today, and I needed to escape from the construction noise in the worst way. My original intention was to see the movie Kill Bill, Part Two, but as it turned out, this movie wasn't open yet...and I was a day early. In my eagerness to escape, I plunked my monies down on the only movie that was soon-to-start. This was a movie I would never have selected because I had assumed it to be a teen comedy. Most teen comedies are so pat and cliched that they don't offer me many yuks, but I was desperate at this point. I paid for the movie The Girl Next Door.

I was joined in the empty movie theater with three other teenage boys. The main star and object of lust in this movie was a beautiful young blond, and she was indeed a sexy, young beauty. As the movie unfolded and I pinched myself at the surreality, I put myself into philosopher-mode and studied the underlying theme of the movie, quite aside from the obvious teenage angst and lust storyline.

This movie was essentially about loss and betrayal, and the bottom line was that this innocent movie was a soft teen version of Kill Bill Two... the primary theme was the same! In this movie, there was not very much bloodshed or mayhem, but the concept of REVENGE was very obvious.

I reflected upon the theme of revenge and why it is so popular in movies. I recalled all of the atrocities that have occured on this planet (and perhaps elsewhere before this planet was even populated) that have never been fully revenged or addressed, and how the Great Wheel has been turning with karma and revenge for all of us for who knows how long. There must be a huge rubbish heap of subconscious memories within all of us that has never been cleared...cruelties that happened to us in other lifetimes and which we have buried within and which call for resolution. Also, there must be cruelties that we have enacted upon others and which now call for balancing as the parts of slave & master switched in different lifetimes.

Flashback-within-a-flashback came upon me of the histories I have read about as well as personal histories, both in this lifetime and others I have remembered. So much carnage, pain and suffering we all have experienced, and yet, do we wish to stop the wheel before we've had an opportunity for revenge? I would wager that many (given the opportunity) would like to have that one final, parting shot of revenge before The Grand Shift. Is this the opportunity that we see happening on the planet right now as there seems to be a perverse full swing into pain and suffering. Are we acting out the final act of the Piscean Age before we move on to the Age of Aquarian Enlightenment?

I know it can be done, for I have done it: Forgiveness is possible and healthy for the soul. Will others do it? How much longer will the polarizing continue?The subconscious buried pain within so many calls for a roaring rampage of revenge and will continue until people realize that there are hidden worlds within themselves which they have denied and which continue to 'play-out' over and over and over. This isn't the fun game of cowboy and indian that young children play...this is serious shit. This is the Great Wheel.

I like to imagine a great wave of High Consciousness washing over the planet, and as it does so, people are awakened to the fullness of themselves and lay down their swords and desire for revenge. They forgive others and themselves. They step off the wheel and celebrate with one another a Brand New Day...and they are instantly healed of their histories. Revenge will be forgotten and seen for how it served the Wheel.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

 
I was just asked by the electrician, Roland, if I was getting excited. I answered that it couldn't happen too soon for me! Today the wood floor in the bedroom is nearly finished. I went out for lunch and errands, and I returned to see that the boyz have worked quickly! They can do so when motivated!

Some of the issues we have here with our workers originate from cultural & economic histories of the various people. For instance, Bill. He was raised in the very upscale, wealthy area of Orange County, California. His father was a contractor, and his four older brothers went into the lucrative building business. Bill has seen and worked on some of the most beautiful residential real estate in his younger days, and now he's only 28.

Jimmy was raised in the Phillipines and came from a very poor family. Largely self-educated, he emigrated to Maui like many other poor Phillipinos to make a better life for himself. He works two jobs, just as most of his other hard-working nationality do. They aren't educated, but they are loyal and loving.

Bill calls Jimmy, Sam and the rest of our Phillipino crew 'monkeys'. Now Bob and I know that this is a racial slur and a redneck remark if there ever was one, but we forgive Bill...he's an infant soul, and we realize the huge gap between these two groups. How can equality manifest in the world when the programming of wealth and status begin at an early age?
 
Bill came to work today, and he apologized to me, saying that he was just so upset yesterday and disappointed at not being able to travel to Alaska to go heli-skiing that he couldn't work. He called Bob too, and they got clarity and goodwill going on between them again. The Old Bill, the friendly easy-to-communicate-with-Bill is back! We're both thrilled, although there will be something of a challenge with Bob communicating to Jimmy that Bill will once again be doing the floor. Bob had given the job to Jimmy last night after Bob hadn't heard from Bill all day. Today he will be taking the job away from Jimmy and giving it back to Bill! I dread the thought of Bill looking at the painting that Sam did last night....so far, if Bill has seen the sloppy line that Sam made without properly taping, he hasn't said anything. At the time, I questioned Sam in front of Bob why he didn't tape it, and Sam said he wasn't finished with the painting, and that he would return to it and cut it, whatever that means. Both Bob and me are at the point of just throwing our hands in the air and screaming...whatever!!!!!

Genvieve also seemed to make progress on her home-front-battle. They have agreed to put effort into their relationship, and they have set a date for June 1st to be the day they will either say, 'fuggadabotit' and move on from living together....or they will hang together as a couple. Gen is learning to 'live in the leap' as I have for so long (as well as countless others on this planet), detached and guided by Spirit in the moment. She has surrendered.

Bob and I tried to make airline reservations last night using our United Frequent Flyer Miles, and both of us were disturbed to hear the latest United rule! Both Bob and I have large amounts of our frequent flyer miles which we wished to use for a trip in August. However, now the new rule is that when you fly from Hawaii, the regular 35,000 frequent flyer miles don't apply...it takes 60,000! The reason is, according to the agent on the phone, is that all the frequent flyer seats are booked a year in advance, and even though now it's only April and we will travel in late August, all the regular frequent flyer seats are already booked. Thus, if we wish to use our miles, they will have to take more miles from us for extra seats. What a rip! We didn't make our reservations because this new policy or rule seems so unfair and bogus.

We have already planned a wonderful vacation, but now this plan is up-in-the-air too! I am reminded of the saying, "If you want to make God laugh, make plans." This humor is so relevant to everything happening these days!

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

 
The shit has hit the fan today, and the fur be a-flying! I have been anticipating this on many fronts, and it is now here.

First, I receive a phone call from my daughter who informed me that she had fought all night and all morning with her boyfriend whom she lives with. They traded many insults, and when she left to drive to work, she called me on her cellphone to tell me about this huge quarrel. She told me she had packed her bags last night to come over here, but she calmed down and didn't do so. However, she is feeling it is only a matter of time now before they finalize their completion.

While she was crying on the phone with me, Bill & Jason finally arrived to work, and Bill discovered the letter that Bob had written to him which I had placed on top of Bill's work equipment. Bob had wanted me to give it to him in person and do the anger/interface with Bill so Bob wouldn't have to do it. But as it turned out, I was on the phone calming my daughter down when Bill arrived. I heard a lot of banging around and angry energies penetrated to the back bedroom where I was on the phone. Bill and Jason took off, and I knew Bill would be calling Bob on his cellphone.

Bob is on the golfcourse with Jim, our Colorado friend, who just loves this kind of drama. Today, I am sure Jim is getting his ears full of it. I called Bob to see if Bill had called him, and sure 'nuf, Bill had left an angry message on Bob's cellphone which Bob had chosen not to pick up. Bob wanted me to call Bill and smooth over things. I said 'uh, uh'...this is your job, not mine! This didn't make Bob too happy, but oh well!! This is Bob's lesson...he has to stand up to these angry alpha-males eventually and not let them bully him. He has a right to speak his truth to them, and he's not going to get this lesson if I am doing it for him!

Then I heard from Shanti who is staying with us...he's over on another island, Oahu, attending to some medical issues of his. He informed me that he will be leaving here (as our houseguest) earlier than planned as A's mother passed on, and Shanti wants to attend her memorial back on the east coast. Shanti is very comforting to Bob, and Bob loves to have Shanti's company and has tried to talk Shanti into moving into our soon-to-be-available guest bedroom. However, Shanti is nomadic and prefers to change locales frequently. He wants to move to Boulder, Colorado and take up residence there this summer. He has a big gathering for his non-profit happening there in June, and he has a 'following' there that supports his work. Besides, it's a lot cooler in Colorado than Kihei in the summer!

Shanti is helping us in many ways, and he's going to call Bob and support Bob with the Bill drama, and it will be interesting to see how this one gets resolved. Bill has gone from being our 'hero' to being a pouty, spoiled egotist. We don't know why his personality has changed so much. We think this change may have something to do with a girlfriend problem. He won't fess up to us...we only hear that he decided not to go to Alaska the day he was supposed to leave. He told us it was become of financial problems, and that 'he had made a mistake'. We can't figure out why he could be having financial problems as Bob has been paying him a very high salary every week!
What has he done with all this money? He hasn't put it into transportation as he still drives the same beat-up old van.

When Bill came to work for us, he was eager, dedicated and hard-working. In the past several weeks, we have seen him angry, petulant and barely working....showing up late, leaving early and taking a 3-day vacation. These behaviours are why Bob talked to him last night, and with no getting-through-to-Bill, he decided to write out Bill's work schedule, and he asked him to cooperate with him to finish the work in 13 days. The letter was firm, but not hostile. Yup, the Shift has indeed hit the fan....


Monday, April 12, 2004

 
http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=47355

Read this and reference it to my earlier email I just posted. This rumormillnews posting explains a lot!

Friday, April 09, 2004

 
I am reminded that justice may be slow, but it grinds exceedingly fine...or something close to that as I don't have an exact quote off the top of my head as I write this blog now, but it speaks to this story:

Last evening I didn't know that there would be a 'pupu' party at our house, for it wasn't planned, but it did happen...and as the conversation around the table on our deck unfolded, we realized that our new friends that just recently moved to the island also knew (but not as well as us!) other former acquaintances of ours that once lived on Maui and also spent time in the places where our new friends once resided: Crestone, Colorado and Santa Fe, New Mexico.

There was a momentary rush when all of us realized that we had participated in the lives of these notorious beings who believe themselves to be important historical figures and who have great charisma, charlantry, and ability to con others. So we started doing what is called in Hawaii: talking story! These new friends were aware of the con game this couple play, and so it wasn't an indelicate conversation. All of us were not unsurprised that this couple is still 'out-there' doing their mischief!

On the other hand, I received an email today from a Sister which reminded me of another 'con' game that a 'supposed' friend had played on me several years ago when I allowed this woman to housesit our home while we were off-island. When this email from a Sister landed in my box today, I was reminded of how treacherous this 'former friend' is and how masked she is to the ordinary person, even as she was to me (who often feel myself to be quite intuitive and a good reader of another person). In this woman's case and subsequent interactions with this woman, I realized another damned lesson!

To begin with, my gut told me to watch out for her, but I over-rode my very aware gut and decided to take a chance on her friendship for she was very beguiling, seductive, friendly and outwardly loving. This was my first mistake. Always listen to your gut!

Second mistake was to allow this woman access to my computer and my home where she scored email addresses & other intimate connections through my telephone books which I had by the phone... and so on and so forth. I asked her specifically NOT to bring any male acquaintances into our home to stay or visit, and she promised me that she would not do so...on her scout's honor! I really don't like strangers or anyone sleeping in my bed.

Upon returning home from our voyage, we discovered many disturbing incidents and storylines around this woman. She had indeed invited a former boyfriend from California to come stay with her at our home, slept with him in our bed and fought violently and frequently with him in our home. This was reported from more than one source who gave us this feedback upon our return.

She left clothes and shoes which she would not claim as hers, but that upon later recall on her part claimed to be hers. Strange behaviours! My daughter's boyfriend claimed she even hit on him...as an older woman (as she was) hitting on a man that could have been her own child age-wise, I was initially distrusting of this information. However, with later unbalanced behaviours on her part, I now believe, 'hey, it is totally possible.' I knew she was desperate for a man, but I had misjudged exactly HOW desperate she was for a man, even a younger man.

I debated whether she was an early Alzheimers case (as her mother had this disease, and I know it runs in families sometimes). Why was this woman so forgetful OR was it that she was lacking in integrity? It wasn't very long before my angels revealed this puzzle to me.

And the puzzle-piece unfolded as it often does in a very mundane fashion. She requested for me to remove her from my email newsletter list, and so I asked her why. She said that she didn't wish to be influenced by me because she was considering beginning her own newsletter, and she was fearful that my influence might color her creativity. I had never heard such b.s. before in my life, and I told her so...and I reminded her of the darkly- colored-conspiracy forwards she always emailed me. Did they not too influence her too? Why was my love 'n light email newsletter truly bothering her? I attempted to get to the deeper truth, but she was evasive, defensive and very, very angry!

Thus began an email bitch-fest, and it continued until we both just gave up, and we discontinued emailing one another. I haven't heard from her in a long time, and that's fine with me. I was exasperated with her and if she was a an early Alzheimers, a programmed troll, or a jealous, egotistic enemy. However, I am reminded of her today because of this email that another friend forwarded to me from this lady. This email concerns me, and my red flags are up. What damage is she doing out there to my credibility? Is she emailing people from my email list that she retrieved from my computer? Who is she, and why did she push herself upon me so feverishly? I am left wondering about the aggressiveness of those that work the dark side.

Mostly, I wonder when these con artists will meet their karma! Will justice eventually be served on them while we still live to see it? I know these people that I have referred to are small little molehills by the standards of large, corporate and political con artists, but basically it's the same question!
 
It's fascinating to feel the energy feedback loop from a mailing to my e-list. Inevitably, there is a 'charge'...something like the snapping of a rubberband when it's pulled tightly and then released. Sometimes this non-verbal energy is just a mild sting, and at other times, I feel a painful snap! The written feedback from others is always interesting too. I guess that's why I'm a communicator because I'm curious, and sending out a variety of information in my Terra Star emails calls forth different people to email me back with their thoughts/feelings!

Sending out the information about the Magdalen Grid activation for this time period resonated strongly with some on my e-list, and with others...there is silence! Possibly they haven't retrieved their email yet...or possibly they have not a feeling to comment. Possibly they think it's coo-coo. Who knows for sure? Some of the people on the list I know, and some are total strangers to me so there is something of a mystery to an e-list.

I am feeling a strong desire to travel and to have movement, dance and action...possibly because I am weary of this renovation process and the sedentary aspect of managing it. Today Bill & Jason are back to work, but they are carrying the Spring-Fever virus, and their desire to be outside to play is aligned with mine. Who wants to be indoors working when there is a gorgeous Maui Spring playground outdoors? Nature is calling to us!

I will leave here soon and enjoy the windy Spring day and allow the Magdalen energies to percolate through my cells....the Shift is NOW!




Thursday, April 08, 2004

 
Today not ONE of our many workers showed up to work, and we don't know why. It's just one of those weird days I guess. Finally, we heard from Bill awhile ago, and he decided to extend his vacation one more day. This is how the workers work over here. They are in demand, and they work on "Maui-time". We still haven't heard from the rest of the workers, but they eventually will show up when they need money. It's very challenging to forsee this project finished with the workers taking their time the way they do. While I was waiting to discuss the new plans with workers that didn't show, I decided to get busy and send out an update for the upcoming Magdalen activation this coming weekend. All of my AOL email addresses on my mailing list got rejected, and I don't know how to get around this problem.

Nevertheless, I am feeling very restless, almost agitated, as I sense there is something UP in the world...perhaps it's this very Magdalen activation that is tweaking me and increasing my anxiety.

Wednesday, April 07, 2004

 
Shanti, Bob and I took a long walk last evening by the beach that is probably one of the nicest beach walks in the world. The cement path traces around the expensive resorts of South Maui on our left while the ocean is on our right. The path is full of bodies these days as these are the times of Spring Break, and everyone and their dog wants to be out and about!

The meandering path from where we started at the beach parking lot is about two miles all the way down to the final resort of the Kea Lani, a huge, white Moorish designed resort. We decided to eat something at their deli restaurant which had a wonderful European ambience.

Afterwards, as we were walking back to our parked car, we enjoyed the stars and the fragrant night air full of the amazing aromas of flowers. The pathway was very dark...and at the place where this once heiau is located, all of us heard this eerie moaning sound. At first, we thought it might be a weird species of frog...but eventually we realized it was not frogs but something else coming from the lava rocks and cliffs below. We all felt the presence of Spirits...the ancestors were calling out to us!

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

 
I am sitting in my big comfy outdoors chair enjoying a peaceful morning for a change. Bill is hiking Makena on his birthday, and everyone else that normally make our home throb is off doing other things....ah, peace at last! Yesterday was one of those hugely exhausting days with WAY too much going on...so much so that I crashed out at 8 pm and couldn't even watch Adam on Average Joe make his final decision on a girlfriend! Bob kept trying to wake me up to finish the 2-hour finale, and I'd go right back to sleep.

The hoo-hah began yesterday with the dissatisfaction many of us were feeling about the upstairs bathroom. Jimmy had placed the shelves in unbalanced, and my 'eye' had seen it. I pointed it out to Shanti when Jimmy was gone, and he used the balance tool to measure it, and sure enough, everything was off! Bill had noticed it too, and he already had planned to rip it out and re-do it after he returns from his birthday camping trip.

Everyone was upset about the plastic that Jimmy had laid upon the wall marble flooring! So Shanti and I set off to explore options in the Wailuku Industrial Park and another industrial park between Kahului and Kihei that I never knew existed. Actually, I never knew even a word called 'bullnosing' existed, so yesterday was a crash course in construction for me.

After much discussion and many stops, we finally located a marble place that would do the bullnosing in two days...and so Shanti told Jimmy to rip the marble out and give it to him plus more for bullnosing and ran it back to the shop to be worked. Shanti has been very game and helpful in our process here, and he is doing a wonderful job as a liason between the work crews so that I can step back from this tremendous pressure.

We also made it back to the Home Depot for the THIRD time to exchange the paint for the accent wall. I told myself I WILL live with this color...Parisian Taupe....no matter what because standing in the long exchange/refund line and then standing in the long paint line to order new paint is just too mujch for my system to take!

My day just changed again with Jason showing up to work, so there goes my peace and quiet again...hopefully without Bill here he won't blast the rock 'n roll music, and I can tolerate his saws and machines a bit!

What would a world be like without loud noises I wonder? Does anyone anywhere have a respite from the noises of the world? This desire for escape from noise must be the driving force for hermits to climb into caves in the Himalayas despite all the hardships. I can totally understand their motivation after what I've been dealing with this past year.
 
I am sitting in my big comfy outdoors chair enjoying a peaceful morning for a change. Bill is hiking Makena on his birthday, and everyone else that normally make our home throb is off doing other things....ah, peace at last! Yesterday was one of those hugely exhausting days with WAY too much going on...so much so that I crashed out at 8 pm and couldn't even watch Adam on Average Joe make his final decision on a girlfriend! Bob kept trying to wake me up to finish the 2-hour finale, and I'd go right back to sleep.

The hoo-hah began yesterday with the dissatisfaction many of us were feeling about the upstairs bathroom. Jimmy had placed the shelves in unbalanced, and my 'eye' had seen it. I pointed it out to Shanti when Jimmy was gone, and he used the balance tool to measure it, and sure enough, everything was off! Bill had noticed it too, and he already had planned to rip it out and re-do it after he returns from his birthday camping trip.

Everyone was upset about the plastic that Jimmy had laid upon the wall marble flooring! So Shanti and I set off to explore options in the Wailuku Industrial Park and another industrial park between Kahului and Kihei that I never knew existed. Actually, I never knew even a word called 'bullnosing' existed, so yesterday was a crash course in construction for me.

After much discussion and many stops, we finally located a marble place that would do the bullnosing in two days...and so Shanti told Jimmy to rip the marble out and give it to him plus more for bullnosing and ran it back to the shop to be worked. Shanti has been very game and helpful in our process here, and he is doing a wonderful job as a liason between the work crews so that I can step back from this tremendous pressure.

We also made it back to the Home Depot for the THIRD time to exchange the paint for the accent wall. I told myself I WILL live with this color...Parisian Taupe....no matter what because standing in the long exchange/refund line and then standing in the long paint line to order new paint is just too mujch for my system to take!

My day just changed again with Jason showing up to work, so there goes my peace and quiet again...hopefully without Bill here he won't blast the rock 'n roll music, and I can tolerate his saws and machines a bit!

Sunday, April 04, 2004

 
My parking spot angels were really performing miracles for me yesterday....first, they arranged in immaculate timing the perfect parking spot at a tiny beach parking facility. After the beach we headed for lunch at the Maalea Grill. The parking lot was packed full of cars, but a parking spot in the first aisle was arranged once more with a car pulling out just as I am pulling in! I have always been blessed with parking angels, but I am still awed at the timing they arrange to make the perfect spot happen at just the right moment! It's uncanny and miraculous!

I spent some time yesterday swimming and sunning...a perfect beach day. The beach was packed with people of all shapes and sizes, and my daughter and I were laughing at how white our skin was in comparison to most of those sunning nearby which we presumed to be the tourists! We don't get to the beach nearly as often as we would like for it seems that we are always busy indoors these days. My tan has been coming from a bottle, and it may just be as well so that I don't get the leather-look that long-time sunbathers acquire over the years.

I'm fretting over the color to paint the accent wall in the living room. At first I wanted to paint it persimmon, but the paint that is on a large sample now (which I requested our painters to purchase) looks more like putrid pumkin. The color is not feeling right in my gut...and I now have to ask them to return it for another. The color is too dark, and the deva of this home wants everything to be lighter and cheerier.

Friday, April 02, 2004

 
What a day...I finally decided I was going to have a life again and get out of the house and run errands, have lunch with Bob and our visitors from Oregon, shop and enjoy the beautiful spring day. When I returned, I saw three angry men in my driveway...Sam and two painters who had just been told they were fired and to get the f**** off the property by Bill. I heard their side of the story, then went upstairs to hear Bill's side of the story. After hearing Bill's version, I commended him again for his championing our cause. The painter's had once again shown up with no plastic to cover anything, and they were preparing to paint without any respect or care. Bill wouldn't have it!

Shanti is preparing his special mango and sticky rice in the kitchen as Bob, Shanti and I discuss the many miscommunications that are part and parcel of creation. For clear communications, it seems there can't be enough checking and re-checking, especially when there is a language challenge such as we often deal with over here.


 
A day ago, I was dangerously close to a melt-down, and I went to sit in meditation at my altar to avert this melt down. As usual, I began with the healing tools that I have accumulated through the years and which are helpful, especially at times like these. After awhile, I felt lighter and my mood shifted...I knew I was over the hump! I did some divination work, and suddenly I found myself laughing at the absurdity of it all. With some good belly-laughs, I knew I was gonna be ok. Then the phone rang...it was a friend checking up on me, and I found I could have a conversation without whining! I gave myself a little pat on the back for that, and thanked all my guides, angels and faerie friends!

Yesterday I had to tell Jimmie, our tile man who is laying the marble squares in the upstairs bathroom, to replace two tiles that didn't match. He thought he was finished for the day, and it really was tough on me because he was tired. He had already worked his 9-5 gig at his 'real' job, then came over to our place to finish laying tile. I felt for him! He's really a good guy, a squat menehune with a shy manner and a big smile. However, I also knew that it would upset me to always see these two obviously mismatched tiles! So I told him in the nicest possible way to do it over, and he did. Now I have just been informed by Bill, our main guy in charge, that Jimmie's tile work has screwed up the doorstep to the bathroom, and that this is going to cost Bob another $100 to fix the mess that Jimmie made! This is the anguish for us all....Bob is constantly paying out monies for the mistakes of others! No one has really blown-up about this yet, but there have been moments when there have been close-calls by one of the many people involved in this project. Very close calls....

Bill & Jason commented today how very well I am handling this renovation process...and I told them, I have nearly lost it on many a ocassion. They told me actually I am doing better than most for living in the renovation is one of the hardest things to do! They shared with me that they have seen many people go balllistic. Bill nearly went ballistic himself the other day when he discovered (the first one to notice) that the painters had allowed paint to be sprayed on top of our beautiful wood furniture. He set the painters straight, and told them in the future that if they ever did anything like this again, there was going to be hell to pay with him, plus he told them that he would tolerate no more sloppiness...and if they screwed up again, he would make them do it over! I was very proud of him and gave him a big hug in front of Genvieve, Bob and Shanti later that evening. I told him he was a natural born leader and my hero! Still...Bob will have to spend more monies to have the furniture sanded and repaired!!!!

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