Wednesday, March 31, 2004

 
I'm having one of those days of discontent. While Bob is off de-stressing and playing a round of golf with a friend, I am here on-the-job supervising the work crews....as usual. I'm restless and eager to get out of the house, but I have to keep an eye on things, answer questions and attend to details when they come up! I need a break so badly from all this noise and chaos, but it doesn't look like there is any way for me to do so for at least another month. I'm bored with everything here, and I'm not in the mood to email, talk on the phone, watch tv, exercise or clean any more! Lately the dust has been swirling and filtering down on everything, everywhere! I am weary of cleaning up MORE dust! As soon as I clean something, I turn around, and the dust has spread itself again! I want a massage so badly...my whole body aches from the stress!

Monday, March 29, 2004

 

Memories & Secrets

Yesterday I FINALLY made it to S's memorial which was really quite touching, amazing and beautiful...and interesting in many other respects. I've been on Maui long-enough to know many stories...stories of who has fallen out with who, who is persona non grata, who is kissed-up-to, and who is who in the Maui In-Crowd Game. Since I'm a natural-born people watcher and observer, I saw quite a bit of STUFF yesterday at this memorial. I spoke to another friend of S's on the phone today who also wasn't invited and who was very upset that she had been 'shut out'. We shared our feelings about the way this whole thing had been conducted, and she was so happy to have called me so she could have someone that understood her sadness. Rather than get into the gossip-game, this is all material for my book when I can get back to it....for I have been privy to the secrets of many! Of course, in my book, the names will be changed to prevent lawsuits and repercussions....however, there may be some that will recognize themselves despite the name changes and other deviations. This latest episode has renewed by inspiration to get the book finished...and it also gives me an outlet for my emotional charge!

Saturday, March 27, 2004

 
I spent the major part of yesterday dealing with computer problems...I worked with different computer technicians who tried to resolve my email troubles over the phone. Now I know the back way in to get my emails, but I still can't return emails! Very frustrating! Marjorie, if you are reading this, PLEASE tell Mike & Susan I'm unable to reach them via email, and once again wish Susan a very Happy Birthday for me. So far, I have received fabulous reports about the new website she did! Marjorie, AOL rejected your email about my newsletter, so ask S/M to forward it to you...a lot of AOL subscribers I know were rejected...maybe a new spam policy by AOL perhaps?
I will be leaving here very soon to go way up the mountain to visit Jeff at the Tibetan stupa with Bob and Shanti. Bob has calmed down a lot, and this day in the wild will do us all a lot of good. It has been so stressful around here, and I am bummed that finally I have a wedding site, but if anyone wants to email me and arrange a wedding, I can't even get back to them. The POSSIBLE blessing is that Kishor, Bob's computer consultant from Oregon, arrives today, and since he's a computer whiz, he hopefully will know what to do about my email system...probably will be doing away with Outlook Express and install Pegasus. It's unclear right now. With these computer technicians on the phone yesterday for hours, I felt like I was trying to land an airplane and was at the controls and not even having a clue as to what to do. It was a crash wake-up call to inform me I need to get some computer skills!!!!

Friday, March 26, 2004

 
For those of you who are unable to reach me by email, I am informing you that since I mailed out my Terra Star newsletter today, someone, somehow has managed to shut my email down! I am zero for sure even this blog will be posted and go out! I am totally amazed at the zeal of the Dark Forces and their minions who work with such diligence! Oh well! We are now in the time when those forces are very much at work. My computer tech is in Australia, and thus, I will need to find a way to circumvent the powers that be that don't want me to be in touch with others.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

 

Secrets Shared

This latest episode about being shut-out from the main memorial for S. has really assisted me in redefining myself and whom I resonate with and allow myself to be influenced by. I see very clearly now that those that I once resonated with are not in the same frequency anymore as I, and that I have tolerated much to much nonsense from others. Now I am clear as to my boundaries, my desires, my feelings and synchronicity is working because new people have come into my life and are still arriving to give me the extended family I so much desire. The memorial that my old women's group had the other evening for s. ignited old wounds about secrets that women share and keep from one another...and this is not my way I prefer to live my life....with so many secrets and lack of integrity in close relationships. I am now claiming close friendships with others who are open, candid, available to interact without excuses and are apologetic when they are hurtful or unaware in their sharings with one another. And so it is!

Saturday, March 20, 2004

 
I couldn't sleep last night...there was an incredible uplifting energy that had me buzzing. I attributed it to the Equinox celebrations that had already begun in other parts of the world. I feel such positivity today, and my crown chakra is tingling! I feel there was a tremendous shift, and I awoke to know that now all of us can claim our divinity! Upon awakening, in my mind was everything that I have ever done that was being revealed to me that was out of integrity....and there was so much that I have denied. Yet it wasn't being presented to me to make me feel guilty...it was more like I should uncover it, own it and then release it! So I had a life review. Actually, it was quite amazing how much denial I have been in on many accounts. Now it's gone...I released it as I was told to do because there is a new era that is manifesting not only for me but for every person in the world if we claim it NOW! I am so joyous, so ecstatic, so uplifted. After awakening, Bob told me to come upstairs and just enjoy the view from our new (unfinished) bedroom....and everything looked so fresh, so new....and I got another rush of the gift that the angels have brought to us and how momentous this time is! I feel blessed beyond measure to be alive and participating in this Shift of the Ages!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

 
I have been grieving over the passing of an old friend of mine...S., a bright light that lost her battle with cancer recently. She was a very special being, and I can recall when the trauma of a battle she was in at her workplace got the best of her. All of the women in our woman's group told her to let it go! But for some reason, she just wouldn't or couldn't! She was obsessed with the inequity in her work situation. This trauma/drama was (in my mind) the beginning of her cancer. Even though she was just a middle age woman, not quite 60...she has passed on over the rainbow. This Sunday we are gathering the remaining members of our woman's group and having a memorial for her. There aren't that many of us left here on Maui. For those that have remained, we each have experienced loss, tragedy and health challenges, and this passing of S. only highlights the challenges we each have been faced with in recent years.

My stressors have also been up since the ongoing renovation with the nearly constant aggravating noises that have come in this regard. I have been utilizing flower essences, aromatherapy, meditation, my chi machine and Nature to balance me as best I can.

With only about a month to go til completion, I am beginning to feel the excitement of a finished, organized, CLEAN, spacious beautiful, luxurious new home! And now that Spring is just around the corner, I am feeling this rising of hope and renewal within my Spirit.....I will survive!

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

 
Today is a beautiful, cool day, and our work crew is installing two skylights and the one trap door to go to the roof today. One skylight will be operable and located right over our bed so that Bob and I can lie in bed at night and stargaze. The trapdoor will be in the closet so that we can climb to the roof easily, and from our roof the view is even more magnificent! The energy for moving this project along to completion is often challenging to me with so many details to attend to and always plenty of changes! Today we found out from Bill that the ohia logs that he planned to use as a custom touch in our living room were too massive and heavy to work, so now I have been on the search for lighter logs as beam supports.

Monday, March 08, 2004

 
This morning I had a rare opportunity to work in peace and quiet on a variety of writing projects! Usually the work crew shows up early, but today they are moving the drywall in and because of the number of men required to move these heavy sheets of drywall up and down the stairs and around corners, the work didn't start till 1 pm. Yesterday was the finishing of the insulation installation. Everything is progressing nicely, even though it feels strange to be sitting at my computer desk admidst chaos in the middle of the living room. I dab the soles of my feet with "Anxiety Out" aromatherapy oil, meditate, and create as best I can inside this whirling energy of renovation. Forget getting on the treadmill and getting some exercise for it is covered up with all kinds of objects that were moved so that the drywall could fit around the stairwell. Tomorrow the skylights go in and the pounding of one crew will compete with the pounding of the drywall crew....

I long for the finished project...our spacious, light-flled new bedroom and bathroom with the incredible views!

Saturday, March 06, 2004

 
Today the insulation is going in, and we have three of our boys working madly on this project. Soon Bill & Jason will be here to do their many jobs of flashing and installing skylights. Bob and I are excited about the speed of which everything is moving along! Yesterday the inspector signed off so that we could move ahead on this project, but threw a wrench into the works...so Bob will have a meeting with him on Tuesday with his new spin on "the rules".

There is a sense of urgency to complete this project...both Bob and I feel it, but we can't exactly put our fingers on WHY! Is something getting ready to happen in the world? Certainly the reports on the net are suggesting such!

Thursday, March 04, 2004

 
I spent most of the day in the office/library going through old photo albums and multiple boxes that hold photos that never made it to the photo albums. I'm talking hours and hours of searching! I must have at least fifty photo albums and five large boxes stuffed with photos. I didn't find the ONE photo I was searching for, but I did discover some fabulous vintage photos that I had completely forgotten about.

In this process, I became sentimental and sad because so many people have faded out of my life through death..then there are some that are in the category of falling-away as opposed to falling-out and some I don't even know where they have disappeared to. I feel as if I've lived multiple lives in this one life! My life has taken many twists and turns, and the only constant has been my angels and guides.


Wednesday, March 03, 2004

 
Another soggy day for all of Maui. We haven't seen this much rain in all the years we've lived here! The landscape is a blend of every shade of green.
Despite the rain, our team of workers showed up to continue the renovation: Bill, Jason and the electrician Roland. Soon will come Sam & Jimmy after they get off work. Bill was really excited to show me some of his creative ideas for the design, and I complimented him upon his artistry....he was beaming with my praise! We have assembled such a great team of craftsmen for this renovation project. I love everyone of them. They are hardworking, honest, happy and easygoing....who could ask for more?

Hopefully by the end of April we'll be sleeping in our new upstairs bedroom. The plumbing is in...the electric is in....and now when we pass the inspections, we'll be ready for the drywall specialist. All of us are working together to come up with specific solutions, and it was my idea to have a pull down ladder in the closet so that we can get on top of the roof. What an amazing view it is!

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

 
Maui has been buzzing lately... with intense energies, weird sonic booms,
stormy weather and weird happenings like the guy who drove his suv into the airport lobby. Wuzzup? Everyone is speculating.

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